Crazy Accusations
by AikoujOi
Summary: America and Russia get into a fight, accusing each other of building a what looks like a Cold War installation. Rated T for swearing and Ukraine's potty mouth.


(Somebody said that John Rich's house looks like a cold war installation and though hey I can make a Russia and America fic out of that)

America and Russia were in Nashville for different reasons, America was asked to meet his boss there to go over a few things and Russia to check out a Nashville Predators hockey game.

Before the game, Ivan decided to take a little tour of the city and look at the various neighborhoods and stuff. He had to tell some people that he was just simply touring the city and not on official business as some people think that Nations never get a day off, but he didn't mind. Despite his creepy demeanor, he actually doesn't mind answering questions from strangers especially kids.

America had also gone out to see some houses or more specifically to see what the fuss is about a house in Love Circle. He parked his car and walked a bit only to find his former enemy of years pass staring at a large cemented building.

"What are you looking at?" America asked walking up to the tall Russian.

"That," America turned to see the house Russia was pointing at.

It was a tall coffee maker shape house that was made up of mostly cement.

"Did you make that Alfred?"

"No, why?"

"It looks like one of your Cold War bunkers,"

"I was wondering the same thing. Only I though you made it," America stated cause the other Nation to stare at him.

"Why would I make such an ugly building on ugly land?" Came the banter, causing America to glare at him.

"Oh I don't know? To spy on me!" America started, "and my land is not ugly!"

"You are mistaken da. I'm not the one who would write Mt. Richmore on the gates," Russia shot back.

The two Nations were now glaring at each other outside the gates of said house.

"I didn't write that you cold loving drunk! Besides if I did that it'll be The Hero or the Number One Hero or something!" America yelled, "Besides how do I know you didn't make that?" America shot out his arm, pointing to the gates.

"Because I didn't you hamburger eating, gun loving idiot."

"Really? I'm not the one that keeps bugging Ukraine for gas money!"

America was now right in Russia's face. Luckily for the two of them it was mostly quiet, and no one was seeing them.

"What are you saying you puny country?"

"I'm saying you're greedy!"

"This is coming from the Nation who got himself in millions of dollars in debt! Now me asking Katya for money is different!"

"Yeah, right Mr. Ivan "Greedy" Braginski. You are so full of yourself and narcissistic that you wanted everyone to know that you had money so you went out and had that gate made for your Cold War spying crap house!" Russia just glared at him shocked.

"I can the same thing about you Alfred "I want to rule the whole universe" Jones!"

At this moment the two superpower Nation were so into their arguement that they didn't noticed that Ukraine, who was sporting a casual t-shirt and jeans, was watching the boys from a few feet away and that a small crowd was starting to form.

"I got two words for you, Soviet Union!" This of course has caused Russia to tackle America down to the ground.

"You shut up!" Russia shouted. They were both now trying to punch the living daylights out of each other.

Ukraine just rolled her eyes and signed as more people came to see what the commotion was about. Some people had even started recording the fight to upload it on Youtube later.

"Admit it you crazy psycho! You created that monstrosity piece of shit to spy on me somehow in the 1950's! Russia was on top of America trying to choke him with his water pipe.

"I did not create such a thing and you know it you delusional paranoid moron!" America shoved Russia off of him with enough force to send him flying into the gate and got up.

"You're the delusional maniac!" America yelled as Russia got up.

They were both now sporting scars and bruises that they had given to each including a black eye.

"You're in denial. Out of fear and pure paranoid, you decided to create that bunker behind me!"

"You're in denial! I bet you have a Soviet flag hidden somewhere in that crappy bunker of yours!"

Russia then charged right at him but America charged at him and tackle him into the gate causing it to break open, the two bickering Nations on the ground. Russia then got up running towards the front door with intent to find "proof" that America was the one that created it.

"Ivan get back here!" America yelled running after him.

"You idiots! You can't randomly break into a building!" Ukraine yelled, finally giving chase after America.

Russia was trying to open the door with America caught up.

"That's not how you do it, let a pro show you!" America shoved Russia out of the way, proceeding to knock the door down off its hinges with one kick while Russia just mocked him.

Ukraine was almost there when she saw America charge in with Russia yelling after him.

"What are you looking for?" yelled the large Russian.

"Proof."

"Proof? Proof that you are really crazy!"

"No, proof that you somehow came into my country undetected and build this house all the while with rising no suspicion!"

Russia then proceeded to chase America down a hallway until they came upon a room with an elevator on one of the side.

"Nice. Nice," Russia then jab a finger in America's face, "You renovated this place will all of this crap to cover up the evidence that this was your personal bunker worried that I was going to bomb the crap out of you!"

"Nice accusations there Mr. I'm in denial, its so freaking obvious you did this!"

Ukraine had since been standing on the fallen door yelling at them to get the heck out. When that failed, she ran only to find Russia shoving America down to the floor and running into the elevator. America then ran towards only to get hit by the doors and fall down.

What are you arguing about now with my brother? We have to get him and get out out before the owner comes back!" Ukraine yelled as America stood up and faced the smaller blonde Nation.

"He thinks this a bunker I made during the Cold War," America stated. Just then the doors opened after pushing the button many times and hastily ran in.

"Oh no, I'm coming," She said, quickly getting in before the doors closed.

"Why?"

"To get you two delusional idiots out of here before the owner comes back!"

America just glared at her.

"..and to prevent you two from destroying the place,"

They arrive at the front door only to find Russia staring at their direction holding a bottle of vodka he got from the bar on his left.

"How do you explain the bar?" America just stopped and crossed his arms before he responded.

"Whose the vodka loving Nation who loves to drink himself into a stupor ever night!"

"Oh, Oh, you are accusing me, the personification of the Russian Federation of being an alcoholic?"

America just rolled his eyes at Ivan, "You drink more than me and you know it!

Russia then threw the bottle at America, who ducked just in time. America then lunged at Russia who quickly jumped over the counter and into the bar. America quickly got out of the way as Russia started throwing bottles and glasses at him.

"Take that you lying bastard!" America had caught one of the glasses and threw it back towards Russia,

The glass hit several bottles, causing them to get knocked down, spilling beer all over the place. America then charged towards the bar, jumped and tackled the other Nation down to the ground.

"You guys stop before the..."

"What the hell!" Ukraine then towards the elevator to see a pissed off man who happened to be the owner of the mansion, John Rich.

"owner gets here..." She finished under her breath. The boys behind the counter shot up for a few seconds of silence before the chaos started again.

"I knew it! I knew you were lying you Commie loving bastard! That's Moscow right there!" America screamed.

"Are you blind you idiot excuse for a Nation! That's your capital, Washington D.C!"

The two started wrestling each other again as Ukraine just put her hand on her face.

"What the hell are they talking about?" John yelled, "How did you three get inside my house?" he demanded

"Those two idiots are America and Russia. I'm Russia's sister Ukraine and they were the ones who broke in. I came to try and stop them and DUCK!" Ukraine pushed the suprised singer down to the ground as Russia threw a bottle intended for America smashed into the wall.

"You missed you fat drunk!" America yelled, as he smashed a bottle onto Russia's head.

"Why don't you admit it! You build this!" Russia yelled, "and I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" He then punched America in the gut.

"I did not make this you lying red-loving asshole!" America shot back.

The two Nations were trying to choke each other and Ukraine had about enough of it,

"Shut up! Neither one of you two idiots made this shitty excuse for a house! John Rich did, and before you ask he is not the personification of either one of your capitals. He is a member of Big and Rich, who is also the reason for them breaking up..."

John wanted to speak up about that part but wisely kept his mouth shut as the three others were Nations. The two male Nations froze in place as she kept yelling,

"...Russia, yes America was crazy all those years ago, and America, yes Russia can be maniacal at times, but that is no fucking excuse to act like total idiots, randomly breaking into a goddamn house searching for "proof" that the other built this crap to spy on the other or whatever the hell you two morons were searching for. Now you two better stop this shit, pay him for the damages that you caused or I'm going to get together an army and take over both of your lands and rename them!"

Silence filled the whole room as Ukraine angrily walked into the elevator. They all stood where they were at for a few minutes until America pierce the quietness

"I never knew your sister had quiet the potty mouth,"

"Da she'll cuss anyone out of she gets mad enough," Russia replied. They both released the hold they had on each other.

"Should I be worry that..."

"No, not really, she won't attack." The two boys were still in shock and embarrassed after hearing Ukraine's rant.

"Honestly I never heard a Persona swearing like that," John interjected, getting closer.

"England worse, trust me," said America,looking around surveying the scene, "How...uhhh...um...how much do we own you?" He was getting out his wallet as Russia was doing the same.

"Here is 2,000 rubles, a passport to Russia and a Carrie Underwood magnet," Russia put them on the counter as America looked at him.

"Carrie Underwood magnet?"

"I...uh...went to a concert of hers," Russia and America were still a little embarrassed as John looked at the stuff.

"Here is $500, some Hershey bars and a "I love Canada" pen that Canada gave me one time.

"Uhh, I know I should be more mad but I settle for those stuff and you two helping me fix up my place." John stated, "Your sister rant is still ringing in my ears."

"I know ours too." Came the reply from Russia.

"Well lets get started," America stated, "I'll get the broom and pick up the glasses,"

"I'll help," Russia replied.

Needless to say the two boys then avoided Ukraine for a few days.


End file.
